Penetrating Life

Julian Foxx and Mystery In Field plus Neil Strauss Routines

2008-07-09T23:56:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FHPtCVuVi38

Immersion in the Experience and Moment

2008-05-06T16:22:00.000-07:00

I hear people say "Life is Full of Moments."

and I agree.

I use to live in my mind and not be in the moment, experiencing it.

My thoughts would dwell somewhere else on what I have to do, a written exam, a test, a job, etc.

For example, it could be something so simple as a night where it's raining. I'll use raining cause it's actually more interesting than sun, because where I live it's always sunny, except lately.

So....

It's raining, you're standing outside, underneath the roof so you're not getting to wet. What's going on here? Are you in you're mind thinking about something like a test, or a task that you have to do? Do you think about the laundry you have to do, the book report you have to do, what time you have to get up in the morning.

or...

Do you immerse yourself in the environment. Is the sound of the rain pleasing to your ears? It's a dark night, so when you look across to your neighbors house and you see their front light, you notice how illuminating it is, how since it so dark outside your eyes naturally open up a little bit more when you see a light. Ever breathe the air, how crisp it is at night, and since it's raining, it's a little cold as well. There's also the different sound that rain makes when it falls on the road then when it falls on the lawn. When it falls on the road it's more loud than on the lawn.

They say "Life is Full of Moments"

and it is.

They're great to experience, especially when you experience them by being in it, not disrupting thoughts of whatsoever... you're immersed in the moment.

Let Go and Having

2008-04-30T01:10:00.000-07:00

I got one of those personality awards on a dating site and I'm quite happy, I got an award for being More Independent... but anyways.

It stated that the best way to have me, is to let me go, and see if I'll come back. Well in their words.

"Independent users, like the little bird over there, don't want to be caged. They need their space, their freedom, their time to do their own things without interruption. Set them free, and if they come back, you'll have them forever!"

That really connected with me. :)

Got To Be Real

2008-04-29T15:27:00.000-07:00

I took away...

the ego desire to conquer

the numbers game

and what I have?

A desire to seek real connections, dynamic ones.

funny thing right now as I'm writing this post a song from my playlist comes up.

Got To Be Real by Cheryl Lynn HAHAHAHAHA :)

Nocturnal Thoughts

2008-04-26T03:44:00.000-07:00

Being Nocturnal again. I don't mind, just fascinated with what's my deal with the night. Somehow is linked to me loving to write and this is the time when it's most quiet that I can hear myself sleep. Are other people who love words and meaning and stories, such and such the same way too?

2nite was night that wasn't for me. Funny how I like to write stories but most of the time I don't like revealing stuff about myself to be honest. A conflict if I ever would feel compelled to write a story about myself or write about my experiences. But a couple of blog post later shows that I can tell stories about myself but still keep some for me. Sounds like a Power issue.

but back 2 2night. Wont say what I did, but my purpose this evening was for friend. Of course I had fun but it was mainly so my friend. I'm sure he appreciates it.

The act of giving, I will to pat myself on the back for that, but I hope its not bragging.

I really don't want to sleep though the body does, and even though they say most meloncolly people, yes I misspelled that, i'll edit soon, are actually up at 3 am in the morning. No worries I considered myself happy. The night however is what I'm in Love with. Sounds funny? or maybe it's quite simple, I have a lot in my mind... but then again with my inner most thoughts I tend to keep them hidden until I find a creative way to express them in not so blunt manner but one that's subtle. I like to make people work for it I guess ;)

So i thought Muay Thai would be my Passion but then again, things come and go but the one that always stays is Art. The way I view the world, the connection of words, the meaning of sentence or paragraph elegantly put together to tell you a message. New things come and go but there are things that remain the same as well.

My head hurts, maybe from lack of sleep, I'm going to lay my head down and keep dreaming.

Time to go to Sleep

2008-04-20T23:24:00.000-07:00

When you read these dating posts on topic conversations they say "weather" is a boring topic, but how can you say that when you live in Southern California where we're pretty much spoiled by sun.

When I wake up about 11 am because I didn't sleep early last night followed by calling in sick at work so I can get more sleep I can open my door and see see how bright it is and I can feel the cool wind swooshing by me.

You know when it's really bright outside and your eyes are wide open you feel the form of all that you see, a mirror image reflected by your eyes, it's like what you see becomes a part of you eyes.

how about when you breathe in, opening you mouth wide to breathed in the swooshing air, ever think that you're breathing in life, you're taking something and putting inside of you. The same as smell.

Taste, isn't that a great sense. To know many different flavors.

To be able to hear, oh what a great feeling. They say when you talk on the phone it's like the person is whispering to you. So you have to use and adequate amount of volume so they can hear you and so they wont think you're too loud.

Touch brings you closer to people.

Senses.

Yeah so the weather is nice. If I could I would bring everyone to California right now. Send the Air Planes for those who want the faster route, the train for those who want to see mountains and valleys and smell the fresh air in the morning when you step out while feeling the wind gust at you. I'll send the boats, for those of you who like the stillness of the water along with cool night. For those who like a long journey I'll send one of those wagons that goes cattle trail and give you a notebook so you can write all your adventures in.

I say "enjoy" things.

Because there is so many things to enjoy.

Goodnight.

Pre Test Vent

2008-04-20T22:26:00.001-07:00

I've been studying a grip today, because I felt that I have procastinated on my study for tommorrows test. I actually have been studying but I still felt that I could have studied more. Wish I had.

Although I tried to hit the book one more time before I go to sleep I couldn't grasp anything, I feel that I've hit an overload. Should I just rest right now or continued. I just don't want my brain to be friend tommorrow. Lets see I'm going to read some more right now.

You know what, My brain is on overload, I'd rather rest it... well. I feel that I should be good based on the decisions I make instead of how much more studying I can put in.

I've decided to rest my brain for tommorrow and start fresh.

decided to that the plan is to do the "easy" ones, I should say "easier" questions first then go to the ones that are hardest.

decided, to at the time of the test to Perform with the intent of passing the test

decided to think more healthy and there are other oppurtunities to take the test, even if it takes another couple or more months to wait to retake.

I should be good, but one things certain, i'm better than before.

Remember this song...

2008-04-20T15:56:00.001-07:00

The Jackson 5 - All I Do is Think of You

Brain Power

2008-04-18T21:47:00.000-07:00

"it's the age of intensity" as Sally Hogshead says.

so why do the majority use their time in watching TV, eating cheetos to pass the time (maybe that's not a good example) but basically spending their time dreaming about things, but actually not doing them.

they say our brain is capable of extraordinary things. I remember a woman who crashed her car into the ocean who previously did not know how to swim, but was able to learn right there. Because the circumstances made her brain do what she had to do to survive.

but the circumstances we are in... I'm not so sure what it designs our brains to do.

Well, I do believe this, that if you want more, you do have to be intense, you have to unlock the power of your brain depending on what path you pursue.

I think it's time for me to expect more for myself. That will do, cause I only do what I expect from myself.

Send My Love By Born Jamericans

2008-03-26T23:25:00.000-07:00

so I'm chilling with my boy Mike and he has this 24 hour playlist, where the songs are matched to the hour. for example, waking up songs, that are very blooming, not so much about thinking but waking up are in the morning, noontime, relaxing song, night time, party/fun songs, etc and etc... well besides some old school Janet Jackson and Warren G, G funk era, Send My Love came up and I'm like "daaaaaamn, I aint heard that one in a long time." and such and such.

What's Up

2008-03-21T21:21:00.000-07:00

Decided to put my real name. I want people know me and not some avatar. Here's an update, Muay Thai is kicking my ass. I got ringworm and now It's postponed. I like getting my ass kicked :). C'mon everybody loves a challenge. Well, i'll take it as opportunity to rest and take a brake. For a minute things where going on the fast lane. This moment of R&R is helping me out and I need to take advantage of it. I'm still studying for my Career Choice and training for a dream that I'd love to be reality... but I've also thought about the Marines. There are so many benefits there. Of course people will say "what the f--- are thinking about?" Well the answer is "a financially secure life." I don't have to be rich and famous. I don't have to be in front of millions doing Muay Thai or Boxing.

Lot of things happen when you have time to think. Well I realize a lot of things. Oh yeah I met David Wygant. Good vibe. I'm thinking "Ok, of course he's not going to have problems with women, He's goodlooking, knows how to dress or has a woman dressing him, but then you can feel his presence and he's a real cool guy. One thing I like is that he helps women too. Cause we can use more High Quality women... btw I'm tired of going out. It's getting old. And you see the same thing all the time.

I'm thinking about getting another Myspace, maybe my seventh one, no j/p :) cause I do like to blog, but not so much, I like to leave things to the imagination, but there is an abundance of things to say and not say. Isn't facebook coming up now? I don't know.

So i'm getting my 8hrs of sleep and i'm feeling good, the ringworm is going away, btw it's not actually worms. My immune system is kicking up. Spring is here, funny when you live in Southern California it's actually more interesting when it rains. There's 351 days of sun and only two weeks out the whole year when it rains. I never experienced snow.

So, things are coming together, new people are coming into my life, and I'm always good with the ones that are already in my life. Life's a blast.

Believing

2008-03-08T21:59:00.000-08:00

A while back I wrote down a goal on an index card. I'm not going to say what it is. In fact, nobody knows what it is that I wrote. Only me... but I'm thinking about it right now, and I believe, it is possible now.

I encourage you to write your goals and keep them to yourself... when you achieve them I don't see anything wrong with telling people then.

"I Can Do It"

2008-03-08T21:50:00.000-08:00

So I'm training and I remember back to what Ken told me, all the advice he gave me for training. It's all in the mind. So I'm training, and I want to a do a specific number of reps for a specific exercise. I wont get into details... but I kept saying in my mind "I can do it" and internalized that belief in me. I had to be aware of what I was telling myself when I was doing my exercises. Well I reached that number, and achieved my goal. I felt great and happy after that, it was a good feeling.

Call Me An Owl

2008-03-05T01:26:00.000-08:00

Funny the only time I really feel like going here is at night, might have to do with how quiet it is. During the day, there is noise everywhere... and sometimes you can't really think to yourself... funny, at these times my mind use to wander... but now, I think more about what I have to do and reflecting on what I've done. It comes with growing up. I'm not saying having a mind that wonders around freely is childish, I'm saying, you do less of that when you're older. The mind becomes occupied with other things. For instance, it's occupied with "what am I going to do with my life?" Thankfully, I found something that I love to do, so I don't have to answer that question any more. The question is, now, "how can I do what I love in my life?" I'm very fortunate. Yeah, it's Muay Thai that I love, and if anyone wants to talk about it. we can... I like to give since I already am full in that context.

Spirit is Strong but the Body is Weak

2008-02-28T02:28:00.000-08:00

2 am. I want to train some more. I'm not sleep yet. I wish I could but my muscles decide to shut down. The minds is strong but the flesh is weak. Well anyways, since I've been doing Muay Thai and Boxing my health has changed. It got better of course. I'm stating the obvious. You know those things they call endorphine. It's like I feel them all the time and life is a Euphoria. What's also great is I catch women looking at certain body parts all the time. It doesn't do anything for me really, I don't brag at all. I'm cool with it if she's a cool person, and plus, if I made her day and she benefitted from taking a extra long glance then good for her. I'm glad. It's nothing new to me. Anyways. Want I'm really longing for is after you exercise and have a real good work out and your pores open up, you hit the shower it feels good. Water never felt so good. Of course I have to work out a grip to get to that point now a days. I got of the weights and decided to start toning myself. Heh, i'm starting to see a six pack now.

Great Advice

2008-02-26T10:55:00.001-08:00

I was looking for some Muay Thai shorts and our vendor comes in and he notices. He tells me when he was younger he loved kickboxing, soccer, exercising and all other sports. He started giving me real great advice about it. It can relate to anything too.

-Anger won't help you in a fight, because you start fighting with your fists and close off your mind.

-Breathe and relax, if you're too aggressive you wont be able to thinking and you will wear yourself out. Loosen up.

- When exercising or training play music, while breathing and relaxing, listen to the music.

- Eliminate distractions, Black out the crowd and everyone whose watching and be independent of them.

New Love

2008-02-25T21:21:00.001-08:00

Well, it can be considered "loves." Ever since i've been boxing and Muay Thai Kick Boxing I've developed a love for both. This is something for the long haul.

Rain Rain go away...

2008-02-14T13:54:00.000-08:00

so I can go outside and play. I'm an outdoor person... funny, it was sunny as hell for the past five days, people where even going to the beach. Now it's raining. That's San Diego weather, very interesting. It'll be sunny the next, then rain after that, then sunny again, all in the same week. Well, that's only in the winter, in the summer it doesn't rain at all. Sometimes the rain is fun I guess. We need more of it after all the wildfires that happen a couple of months ago. You want to see a city that's supportive, go here. When the wildfires came and they opened up Qualcomm Stadium (Home of the Chargers) the volunteer line was the same length as the check in line. You had to be here or seen it in the news.

Well I love this city, i'll never leave it. Think of a desert, SD is like an oasis in that desert. Yeah so its sleeping weather right now. Don't want to go to sleep right now though, I want to be outdoors. I never been rock climbing I want to try it out and I'm also thinking about kick boxing. I think i'll surf the net about it.

"my conditioning has been conditioned." - ???

Scripts and Monlogues

2008-02-12T15:13:00.001-08:00

New Goals

Work on 3 monologues 1) Shakespeare 2) Comedy 3) Drama

Also, finish two plays 1) La Loma and 2) The one about my Uncle

I like this...

2008-02-08T23:22:00.001-08:00

everything is going great. I feel great. Circumstances around me and my well being, my health I kind of down right now, but I feel great.

Lots of things are changing, I feel like I grew up a lot ever since I felt broken down a couple of days ago. Call it growing pains I guess.

it's not that the world is different, what's different is how I act.

Looking back I was being more genuine, accepting of myself, gradually disciplining myself, and being true to my desires. Doing things for me, doesn't that make me independent? Yeah it does.

A hard road has it's benefits, I feel great about myself.

Nurturing Side of LTRS

2008-02-07T01:48:00.000-08:00

I never thought about LTRS that much and when I heard people talking about it, I dreaded the conversation. Sure when I was younger and I had a crush on a girl, I wanted to marry her. These days the word "marriage" brings up a feeling that I can't explain. I do know it's not a good one.

However tonight I can't sleep, I'm sore, I'm tired as f---, and mind is over blown on my purpose in life. I started thinking deeply. How when I was kid and sh-t was going to well I'd go my mother. I can't do that today, being a grown Man and all.

Then a light bulb pops up in my head, and I think, there is a benefit to LTRS like... marriages. Honestly when I hit around 19 or so, I stopped with the crushes and never felt anything strong for a woman, emotionally speaking I mean.

The guys I grew up with would be surprise. I often get "are you going to get married when your like, 40?" My mindset is starting to change and be more open. I can see how LTRS have a nurturing side. Having a lot of rapport and comfort with another can heal your wounds when you're with that person. Also this thing Women call "emotions" should have some effect in that equations, I'm just kidding, I guess guys feel that too but not as much compared to Women.

Well, I very much doubt you can find that nurturing side in a one night stand, escort, or even a f-buddy. I never been this worn out physically, mentally, and spiritually. It does have it's purposes, I learned a priceless and valuable quality of LTRS, the comfort and care of it's nurturing side. So, there is a reasons to get into LTRS, AH HA!

Touch is Revealing

2008-02-05T00:53:00.000-08:00

If you genuinely want a woman to feel comfortable with your touch, she can feel it when you do touch her. After all, she is very receptive.

Book Review: Radical Careering by Sally Hogshead

2008-01-31T01:03:00.001-08:00

If you want to accelerate and boost your legs to run faster towards having a great career than this book is for you. It lives up to the title and you do become a Radical. It can be what you need to spark your flame with the beliefs and truths it speaks. Some truths will intrigue you such as the one that made me purchased the book, Aspire to be the dumbest person in the room. It also offers a new perspective with the truth that you are your most important client, it makes your picture yourself and consult yourself on what you need to do.

There are 100 Truths in this book and I'm sure you will take something from it. I've already ripped pages out and xerox them to post in my room walls to remind me of them. The truths don't just apply to careering only, they extend to your life. This book is great way to start internalizing beliefs to change your actions to become successful.

By L.T.L

Making Character

2008-01-26T14:12:00.000-08:00

When things are going against the grain, and things become hard, do you continue and give it everything you got?

Blazers and Jeans

2008-01-25T00:18:00.000-08:00

I've been wondering about this for a long time. Should I wear some of my blazers with my jeans? From what I hear mostly is no, because the Blazer is formal and jeans are more casual. Well, I took some pics. Let me know what you guys think. Now this one is a lot formal, it has 8 buttons and such and is very long.

Oh yeah, I cropped my head out of this one, think chinky eyes and a bald head. No, not like a guy whose balding with hair on the side but nothing on the top. It's bald all over. Think Michael Jordan.

See Yourself as Successful

2008-01-24T15:15:00.000-08:00

Want to start your reality? Start with yourself. Think of yourself as your client. How do you make yourself successful with work, women, and life? Start with thinking in the image of success.

How do you look successful/attractive/etc... so you can see yourself as that.

What kind of clothes would you wear?

How would you comb your hair?

What would the expression be like on your face?

How would you stand?

How would you be groomed?

How would you deal with certain situations?

It starts with you, if you can see yourself successful then you'll be seen as successful by you and others. Then you can start acting successful.

Take a look in the mirror. The person you're seeing is your client. How would you help that person to be where he/she wants to be?

Quality of Life

2008-01-23T22:55:00.000-08:00

I finally can focus on what I want, and that's the quality of my life. I got an interesting book called Radical Careering. I'm looking at it and if you want to go deep into it, it's basically a way of believing things that can change your action and inspire you. It's more like a reference book which is what I like about it. What first caught me is it said "aspire to be the dumbest person in the room." when I first saw that... I was intrigued and I bought the book. Reading through some of the pages they do live up to the name "Radical Careering."

oh yeah. Radical Careering: 100 truths to jumpstart your job, career, and your life by Sally Hogshead.

I don't live to work, I work to live. Well that brings to me be able to determine what kind of career I want. Well I have to have at least a Friday or Saturday off. I want to live indulgent. I'll leave it at that. Now I got to see what careers that I cater to that. I'd be inspired to work as long as it supports my quality of life.

FV out.

Helping a Guy Get on Track to Having a Threesome

2008-01-21T22:19:00.000-08:00

"If I hadn’t been able to meet up with ‘the one and only’ Freeverse from these forums I wouldn’t of been on the road to having a threesome." - anonymous

I feel so good reading that, thanks man for saying that. I'm glad I can help. Well, I got to brag now. :)

Taking Care of Business

2008-01-17T23:13:00.000-08:00

Still at this(taking care of business) check point. Been in the stage of what my uncle talks about, which is having a good time. Well, for the past months I've been trying to balance where my effort goes too. It's taking a while to make it an equal balance. It's very gradual. Maybe cause my attitude has always been "whatever, it'll work out" with my funds. That's the goal right now, to generate funds. I feel much more mature now. Been in and out of college, but I do got gold under my belt and that's work experience and have always been evaluated well. Right now it's funding that concerns my mind. Trying to generate funds to invest in myself so I can generate even more funds more efficiently with a career. Yeah, this is going to be one hard year.

Oppression

2008-01-16T23:04:00.000-08:00

I feel like for the longest time I've been oppressed for how I look. Of course, others have been way more oppressed than me, in fact, I've been treated that way minimally, but I still know what it feels like. I remember I walked into a store and a lady announced on the intercom line " x(name) will you please check the cameras." I mean can't a guy walk into the store. In the end though, I win. I'm not ignorant one.

Pickup Podcast Forum

2008-01-16T22:56:00.000-08:00

I frequent the Pickup Podcast Forum. I had made a thread and some dude put some smart ass comment in it and got him back. Well, they deleted my post, and kept his, and another thing, they said to the smart ass guy to watch what you say because other races get offended... when did race get into the picture??? Then they say they want to banned me because I'm pissing off mods. I'm so fucking pissed. That forum lost.

Edit: well Jordan Harbinger messaged me and told me what's up with the post and he talked about deleting the posts. I said Thank you.

The Hunger for More

2008-01-12T22:22:00.001-08:00

So I'm chilling at J's pad and it's one of those days where he has to do the perfect push up. Now on one of his sets he started struggling but he continued on. He had said something about knowing who you are when you can't do anymore, and what you do at that time. I can't really remember but I knew what he meant. He was talking about, either giving up or going for more. Keep on going even when it gets tougher. It shows character, and it also makes it. That was my interpretation.

Now, i'm training and conditioning myself to go for more, even when it's harder to go for more. When I exercises I do more reps. For example, when doing push ups. I do all I can and when I get tired, I don't give up, I keep pushing for extra till I can't do a push up any more. I push harder. Now I don't do this in every set, because you do have to take care of yourself. Like a car, you can't floor it all the time and expect it to be a great condition for the long haul, but I like to push myself now.

I see that I'm not lazy, and when I have to do some work, it's a lot easier for me to get up and do it. I got to mention all the harder exercising I've done really made me a lot stronger.

Reward and Punish System to Motivate

2008-01-05T23:00:00.000-08:00

One thing I'll admit that I lack is discipline. Well, it means, I have to work on it. In my last post, bottom to this one, I asked "what makes you stay motivated for the long term/long haul?" I got a very helpful response, posted anonymously.

The poster said that he/she has a reward system. Now, I think that really helps you to motivate yourself. Say you're working on school and college doesn't pay off right away. So it's hard to persist when nothing is coming fast from you efforts. So, rewarding yourself for the effort is a way to motivate you to keep putting in more effort. Same goes with punishment, you don't turn in that assignment, then take something away, for example, no going out this Saturday.

I mean, the things we do, the effort, time and energy we invest in ourselves, we should reward ourselves for all that.

Long Term Gratification and Motivaton

2008-01-03T11:56:00.001-08:00

Been thinking about that is one for a day. I was curious about how you guys stay motivation when the gratification is long term. Where you really have to put effort in, and you're going to see little out of it gradually until it's been awhile. Know what I mean? How do you persist when the rewards don't come fast.

Happy New Year!!!!!

2008-01-01T02:07:00.001-08:00

I want to let everyone know I wish them a Happy New Year, it's 2008, that means, we've been doing this thing called life for quite some time. Hope everyone had fun!!! Goodnight!

Be Unfulfilled Until the End...

2007-12-30T21:13:00.000-08:00

I was talking with a customer today and he mentioned the movie Second String. He was throwing in all this info about the movie I couldn't really grasp all of it but I do remember his point. He said the movie was about a football team. The starters (cream of the crop) and the Second String (guys next to the better.) Well, the starters where acting as if they won every game already and it caused them to slip psychology and they weren't into the game, so the coach sent in the second string and they took over. I'm not going to spoil the story so i'll leave it there. Well, the point is, that when you don't have something, you really desire it and for some that can really motivate you to get what you want. Also being complacent wont get you any further. Sometimes you have to learn how it is to not have something to learn how to have it. You hear all these rags to riches stories, people not having anything and wanting it all, and then finally having it. Then you see in the media all these spoiled brats who have everything materially and it raises the question "what are they doing with their lives?" Desire can really be amplified through negative feelings like frustration, jealousy, envy, and not having. No i'm not recommending being negative, totally, but being positive all the time is straining and unnatural. Also being unfulfilled to the end reassures that you'll always be hungry. I'm not saying "don't do anything fulfilling." But i'm still thinking about it myself. Whose more likely to go farther, someone aiming to run a mile, or someone aiming for two miles. Even if you reach for the unattainable, you're likely to go far, but sometimes you have to realistic. Well those are my thoughts.

oh yeah if the grammar sucks, it's cause I typed this in a hurry and wanted to get it out there. I'll edit it later.

1 Club

2007-12-28T22:04:00.000-08:00

My co-worker, an "elder," played this dope ass internet radio station. They got everything, Rap, Rock, Alternative, Funk, Dance Music, Latin, etc. They even got the oldies, the real real oldies from the 50's. If you like to get deep into music and if you like all types of music then this would be a cool site to peep out.

1 Club

My Thoughts On Having a Vision

2007-12-25T23:27:00.001-08:00

Peoples goals in life are not similar to everyone else. A Vision can be a way of living, a set of goals, an interpretation, an observation used to plan action, and so on. Mainly our Vision is our tool.

For example.

When I'm walking in a hallway of a library, it's dark because one of the light bulbs in the lantern(electric lantern) is dieing out, the hallway is fifty feet long, and 3 feet wide, there are tall bookshelves all with a lemon scent, and thick books in them. Now I look at all this and see a scene for a movie.

I'm at coffee shop and I meet a real cool person, I see a character for a play.

It's lunch time so I go in my car to recline so I'm half asleep. I make sure I'm parked under a tree because it's sunny outside. The sun is shining between the branches and leaves, so I see the shadow of the tree on my steering wheel, it's also a windy day and the tree dances to the wind and so does it's shadow. I think of a poem(a vision as well)

I see a kid in his bike riding down the street. I see the ending scene of a movie.

The way I interpret the World, is Vision for me.

For LaDainian Tomlinson of the San Diego Chargers.

His vision is what causes him to make great runs. Before the ball is even snapped. He's reading the defense and seeing which line backer is going where. Whose going to block the Cornerback. Where the holes are going to be. He's reading the defense before the ball is snapped.

Watching the Secret, you hear people talking about imagining an opening parking space and getting one, posting pictures of houses on cork boards and buying that house, painting pictures of them having success with women and having success with women.

What it does is that it puts an awareness into your mind, and when an opportunity comes up you'll notice it, because you're read for it, it's already in your mind.

You're conditioning yourself to use your Vision.

Well, so I've got an idea, I got index cards, and I'll write Vision on the blank side, and on the side with the lines, I'm going to write what it is I want, and every night(hopefully) I'll take a look at those cards and take my time to think about what's written, and how it would feel after having what I want.

A Woman's Walk

2007-12-24T06:52:00.000-08:00

so you're talking to a Woman you've known for some bit, and there's attraction there, but since you'll see her again, you're not so aggressive. You guys are leaving the building you both work at. Her company is on the other end, you're on the opposite side. Well you both are chit chattin' it up after work and you notice the way she's walking, she's talking to you to keep you're attention, then she gradually speeds up her walk and you do to, to keep the conversation going.

Well in my experience, when this happens, it's like a hooking method or a test to gauge how interested you are in her. You're walking with her, and she gradually speeds up and walk, but she's talking to you, to hold you're attention, and she's looking if you'll follow her lead, if she'll hook you, if you're interested in her or some combination. You can walk with her at the speed she sets or you can stay your own speed and have her match yours, you can say see you later, or you can stop her. I'd stop her or take my own pace depending on where I'm going. You can stop her by getting in front of her and saying "hold on" while holding her by her sides. If she's walking fast, but not talking to you, that's a sign that she doesn't want your attention. There's a difference if she's talking to you or not.

Now, if she's walking and it looks so sexy. Her body is swaying and fluid. Her legs are strutting, her hips swaying, her waist being stretched from her hips and she's in you're area, very close to you, suggestively and she's looking at you, checking you out. Well, do I have to spell it out? She's very receptive to you.

Movement

2007-12-24T06:37:00.000-08:00

There's something about movement. When you go to In and Out because you're hungry and their burgers are better than others and you see a chick. She's walking, hips in motion because her legs are striding, not much upper body movement, but since her legs are moving, which is swaying her hips, and her hips are stretching out her waist... it's so sexy. It's how she moves. I remember someone in High School who had a very distinct walk, but her walk was too "extravagant" that it looked like she wanted attention. It has to be subtle. I can't remember where I read it, oh wait, now I do. Steve Piccus talked about how to gauge a woman's comfort with her body. You look at her hips and if they sway fluidly when she's walking, that's a good sign that she's comfortable with herself. Speaking of books, Sexual Chemistry by Julius Fast talks about movement and how it can be bring sexual chemistry. I just hope no one gets too self-conscious when the move.

Cousin GT

2007-12-23T00:57:00.000-08:00

I was chilling with my cousin a couple of hours ago. He's telling me all his stories and experiences and all I can say is "I'm proud" with a grin on my face. He's 16 years old and in the context of Women, he can go to a group of girls, sit down, put his arm around them and start a conversation. A tear falls from my eye. Women love him, well Girls love him. I remember reading a Myspace comment a girl wrote about him "I wish there where more Guys in the world like you." Man I was so happy for this guy. He's only 16!!! Well, when I was 12... around 12 I was flirting with Women who where around 30. Remember the movie Don Juan Demarco, where Don Juan at a young age is at the chapel and all the nuns are smiling at him. That's the overall picture. But this is about my cousin, I mean, he's social, and that's good. He's young and can still improve. A quote well said by him "staring is not going to get you anywhere, you have to go up and talk to her."

My Rule: Don't Hook Up at Places I Always Go To

2007-12-23T00:21:00.000-08:00

So, I'm at a taco shop and the lady that works there is really sexy. The way she walked flowed. I'd compare her movement to the sea washing on the shore, mildly moving back and forth on the shore, but very noticeable. The sides of her hips moved up and down and she would walk back and forth passing me while being inches away from me. I wanted to grab her with my hands. Then realize where in front of everybody, so I grab her hand, lead her to the back by kicking the door open, hurrying pass the kitchen to an isolated spot, bend her over and start pounding away. I don't. I wanted to look at her, but I didn't even do that. Half of me said not to. From what I heard my cousin saw her checking me out. She was so close to me I can feel it. I wanted to feel it. But I held back and restrained myself. I have this rule. If I always go to a certain place( a store, work, coffee shop, etc.) I don't try to hook up with any women there, because I'll see them again whether things turn out well or not. Well, there's a Chinese scroll hanging on my wall. Painted on it is a bowl of fruits and Chinese characters which symbolize Abundance. There's other Women.

Damn, I am in such a rage, it's suffering. I think I'll go do a 1000 push ups now.

Interesting, she's not even the type that catches my eye physically.

Getting Back on Track

2007-12-19T10:50:00.000-08:00

1. Prioritize - Organizing what you have to do really lays down a plan and clears your head.

2. Stop being distracted - Meaning, forget about what you don't really want, go for what you really want.

3. Resources - Look at what you have (talent, education, means, etc.) , apply it to the process of reaching your goals.

4. Rest - everybody needs it, we're not machines.

5. Fun time - Life isn't about work, work, and work. Have fun ; )

Test Day

2007-12-17T17:06:00.000-08:00

I took a test today, which is step one and a half to start a career to start being stable. The night before I went to Bed after a hot shower because I was sick. The steam helps, but that's another story. So I wake up, being sick doesn't matter. When I wasn't sick I asked myself what would I do If I wasn't sick. I'd go out and such, well I figured I can still do that... so being sick doesn't stop me at all. I may do things a little bit slower but I do them. Well this test takes about four hours total. Breaks included of course. Two sections of the test count, the last one is about you. Well, 120 people showed up, 40 passed. It's a very hard test. I didn't passed. I was very disappointed for a moment, and then I thought, that I'm still going to take the test. I'm going to pass it the next time. They said that out of all the people who take it nationwide on 30% passed. They're saying I'm not alone. They also said they make it hard for a reason, and the whole process is hard to get through. This will be one of the toughest challenges for me in life... I'm determined though. I may have felt somewhat disappointed for a slight moment, but I'm determined and still interested and getting this done.

What Great Friends Can Do

2007-12-16T00:23:00.000-08:00

J is like my brother. He always got my back and I always got his. Well, I had an epiphany of who I was in the past couple of days. See, J, is pretty observant and he would see how I AM and ACT in relation to the environment(venue), people, etc. How I would react to things. Two things came out of this, awareness first, which led to the second thing, adjustment. What he noticed wasn't "negative," it's actually what most guys strive to be on a superficial level. In my opinion however, superficial things most of the times are for show. It wasn't superficial for me however, It was who I am. I was also conditioned that way. Men try to figure out how to be that way. Women Loved it, but also ached as well, and have been driven to certain points. I'm not proud however of some of those things, but I have learned from them.

Me, all I had to do was adjust :)

One-itis

2007-12-15T19:31:00.000-08:00

One-itis is when you're so sucked into a girls world that you think about her every second, and you can't stand to live without her, she's your only one, and you feel a need to call her, and talk to her everyday, and more supplicating behaviors. That is not healthy, however, I don't want people to get the wrong impression that loving one woman is a bad thing. There is nothing wrong with having these strong feelings for a woman, that you would think she's the one. It's natural to feel these strong feeling for someone and want to spend your days waking up to them, seeing them asleep laying on her pillow, eyes shut. There's nothing wrong with having an strong desire to want to see someone. It shows your capacity to want.

It shouldn't distract you though. It shouldn't distract you from doing you're own thing. It should distract you from taking care of yourself and being healthy: body, mind and spirit. It's OK to choose to want to be with one person, as long as it doesn't distract you from living your life. Living independently of her. Because you can't care for her if you can't for yourself. A Man can't put food on the table if he's not eating first, because he has to work, and in order to work he has to eat too. Be Independent and recognize it's ok to have strong feelings for one woman.

Dreaming

2007-12-13T23:31:00.000-08:00

It's like we're always working to make our dreams a reality, so we can have what we desire. To be able to live in the state or feeling when you're dreaming, but in real life. Sadly some people don't have a dream, and continue to float, moving in the air, like a leaf, blowing here and there. Thankfully, some are searching, and others have one. The Secret talks about how we can get what we want, by thinking about it, having an awareness of it. I get what they're are saying. Dreams are like road maps, and that feeling of happiness, joy, ecstasy when you dream or think of what you desire can be inspiration.

LaDainian Tomlinson

2007-12-11T14:50:00.000-08:00

After watching Sundays Game, The San Diego Chargers at Tennessee Titans I am very inspired by LaDainian Tomlinson's performance. We we're down 2 touchdowns in the beginning of the fourth quarter but through out the game you can see LT playing with an aggression, he wanted to win. That's why I had faith that they would win. Philip Rivers turned up his aggressiveness in the fourth quarter. We scored two touchdowns to tie it up 9 seconds before the last quarter ended. We went to Overtime where LT exploded through the defense and scored the winning touchdown, CHARGERS WIN!!!

Watching LT play really inspired me. The symbolism of him running down the field to score the TD is going the extra mile to get what you want. The blockers, the lineman, the Quarterback, the receivers, the tight end, the full back, are those who supported you.

I really look up to LT. He's a better person in the community as well. He always gives back. Last Thanks Giving he was giving away Turkey's. In fact the whole San Diego Chargers Team gives back. Philip Rivers, Kris Dielman, Kassim Osgood along with Bill Pollakov gave Free Bikes to a whole elementary school. I'm sure those kids were really happy. Mike Scifres, Jaucques Cesaire and Malcom Floyd joined the Charger Girls to sell newspapers to raise money for Rady's Children Hospital. The article can be found here.

LT's character on the field and off the field really inspire me and I admire him. He's a great person. He even pays respect to those he admired and idolized when he was kid. Last week's game against the Kansas City Chiefs, he tied Walter Payton for career touchdown by running in for his 110'th TD. He then ran another TD to pass Walter Payton's record with 111 career rushing touchdowns. LT is third all time. After the game, he did a news conference wearing Payton's Jersey paying tribute. I want to do that. Pay tribute to those that help me out. LT also knows Vision is important, as you can see in the YouTube Video. You know where you're going when you have a Vision.

LT is always breaking records, not to mention he was the NFL League's MVP last season. He is the first player to Run 1000 yards and have 100 receptions in one season(2003), he's ran for more that 10,000 career yards, he holds the record for most rushing touchdowns in a season(2006) with 28 touchdowns and has more. As for now, he wants to win a SuperBowl.

LT is the MAN!!!

Understanding Women

2007-12-11T01:39:00.000-08:00

Remember the Movie What Women Want with Mel Gibson and Helen Hunt. Mel Gibson's character was able to read women's mind. Most Men wish they knew what women where thinking and can take advantage of that. Men and Women have more commonalities then difference and can relate with each other and feel empathy for each other. However I will never know what it's like to be a Woman, because I am not one. When it comes to being raised as the "weaker" gender and growing up with more restrictions, I didn't go through all that. I have an idea, but I still don't know completely. This really hit me recently, I don't what it's like for a woman, and I can't speak for her. If she has something to say, she can speak for herself, what right do I have to say how she should be, or to try and change her. Only she knows what it's like to be her and it's her choice.

Burning Fire for More

2007-12-11T00:37:00.000-08:00

Have we become complacent? Watching TV so to hear about the latest news with which celebrity is embarrassing themselves? Isn't there more that that? Being 21 I feel there is much to do. I don't know what it's like to be older in the 40's, 50's or older. Maybe at that time most people wouldn't mind sitting back and relaxing. However when you're around, I feel there is way more to do out there. As for Men, we can be aggressive and go for what we want, go the extra mile for more. Live life on the edge and always challenging yourself.

Uncle Henry

2007-12-10T00:12:00.000-08:00

Kanye West was talking about how you should always tell the person whom you admire, that you admire them. Well I really admire my Uncle Henry, but I'm not able to tell him. In fact I never met him, and all I'm going by on what I hear. How can I admire him? Well, I never heard of a person who actually did those things he did for his woman. I mean, I read it in books and such about how to please a woman on a whole another level... but in real life, most guys do things like go on romantic vacations, or buy them a room full or roses, those things are good but also can be supplication if done from a needy vibe. As for my Uncle, he did the simple things like carry his woman to a bath tub, and bathed her hair, then dry her, and carry her in his arms out of the bath tub. Simple things like that. Well, he really loved her and she really loved him... then another woman came into the picture, and thus, comes my new inspiration, a way of telling that story to the world. I wont say all for now. I hear me and him are alike, We both like Theatre and Basketball.

Tito (Uncle) Henry's Story

2007-12-08T00:36:00.000-08:00

I will add another goal to the things I want to do in my life. I want to Direct, Write and tell the whole world of my uncle and a part of his life. This will be a high priority. I'm not going to say his story here, though it can be found My uncle Henry was like a celebrity where he came from. The whole town knew what happened. When I first heard about that part of his life, I was so proud and happy we are related. Well here's part of it. It's about him, and two women. That's all I'm going to say. I really want to do this, so badly. I didn't live through his experience, but when my mother had told me the story, I could feel it somehow, not completely of course. It is surreal, you'd wonder if you were dreaming.

When this comes out, Men, pay attention and Women, prepare to long for and desire a Man like my Uncle Henry.

This makes me think of all the times, when Life seems like a dream.

My Questions for You

2007-12-06T22:11:00.000-08:00

if you have a heart that enjoys pleasure...

if you can walk in other people's shoes...

if you're respectful to yourself, the people close to you, the community...

if you're not afraid to embarrass yourself, and can have fun laughing at flaws...

if you can tolerate being away from me, then when you're with me you can cherish the time we have together...

if you're able to say "I'd do it all over again" whether we part our ways or stay together...

San Diego Night

2007-12-04T23:11:00.000-08:00

Looking at the clock it's getting closer to midnight and Z90 is playing slow jams that's soft to the ears. I roll down my windows all the time to feel the wind running on my face, brushing me. It's a cool night, the type of cool where it's not too cold, but pleasant. Traffic lights have a more solid beam holding eye contact. It's an open freeway and I am conscious with it's space that I can feel I am a part of it.

The Best Football Commercial

2007-12-04T12:02:00.000-08:00

Nike Leave Nothing
Directed by Michael Mann

Featuring Shawne Merriman(SAN DIEGO CHARGERS) and Stephen Jackson (St. Louis Rams)

The Music is from the soundtrack The Last of the Mohicans Soundtrack. The song title is Promontory and is composed by Randy Edelman and Trevor Jones.

Michael Mann is the director of Miami Vice, Heat and the Last of the Mohicans.

Thank You Michael Mann, happy to give you props. I'm glad Shawne Merriman our OLB is in it.

Posting Comments

2007-12-04T03:16:00.000-08:00

So I realized a lot of my readers don't have Google accounts, so I turned off the setting where you have to be a google member to post a comment. So feel free to drop comments.

Late Night Downtime

2007-12-04T02:29:00.001-08:00

I woke up wondering what time it is. Doing a push up to get up my bed I went to my cell phone to check the time. I'm quite surprised I slept that much. It was like being a battery being recharged: Mind, Body, and Spirit. I turned the TV to an educational show that I knew would be on, South Park. They deliver funny episodes Cartman being diagnosed by the doctor as being stupid and Stan and his Dad fight about the troubles in being in a boy band. Reno 911 comes on. You have a bunch of cops competing over a prize. In order to get that prize they have to make arrests to gain points. They can't just arrest anybody. They gain points by arresting hookers, a Jewish person, a person with an animal tattoo and someone who is over 6"5' tall.

Do you guys drink Brisk Lemon Ice Tea? I've been drinking this a lot lately. It's so thin that you can feel it's lightness when you drink it. The sweet lemon taste at end is always great.

Vanilla Soup

2007-12-03T23:05:00.000-08:00

When I came to Liza's blog, she had written a blog about the Pick Up Community and I thought it was great that she knew about the community. All women should. I kept reading her blog and I can tell she has a lot to talk about and can hold a conversation. Check out her blog.

www.lizaveeta.com

She's a Fine Ass Chick

2007-12-02T19:48:00.000-08:00

So away with the ego wants. I was thinking this afternoon of the type of qualities I find attractive in a woman.

So to me she's fine if she has...

Femininity - This ignites something inside of me naturally and strongly.

Genuine - She's true to herself, not trying to fit into a stereotype or a category.

Social Awareness - Knows how to handle a social situation with people. Aware of what behaviors goes with the situation and/or environment.

Stylish - Know how to dress for the occasion, don't confuse this with flashy.

Secure - Happy with who she is and is comfortable with herself.

which brings us to.

Independent - I believe on some level women should be dependent on a Man. However I feel they should be independent as well. I should be able to leave her somewhere in a store to look at some stuff without her feeling needy or clingy.

Personality - Adventurous, Creative, Kind, Intelligent, etc. Something that makes her stand out.

Now when I wrote that this afternoon. I hadn't even thought about looks. I don't have to say I find a woman whose beautiful and a Coca Cola body attractive. Those things use to really drive me wild before. Now, other things drive me wild as well.

One thing that I forgot this afternoon.

Nurturing - This is another quality that ignites something within me. If she likes kids, animals, I find that very attractive.

Good Health makes life much better

2007-12-01T22:50:00.000-08:00

Well, I've been sore for a couple of days now, maybe more :). Today the soreness and tightness in my muscles is starting to go away. I couldn't even stretch out my arm without feeling my muscles struggle to loosen up. It's been less than a month since I hit the gym before going there recently. Well ever since I did, I'd wake up to days feeling great, even if I only slept for five hours. With the soothing rain, and the cold it was hard to wake up though... but after I got out of bed and woke up in the shower I felt great. My mind is more clear and my posture is great. There are physical task now that are almost effortless and I have more endurance for the day's adventures. I want to hit the gym now, but I'll wait till my soreness is gone because I don't want to tear any muscles and have deformed ones. That's something to know if you're lifting. I'm going to do reverse sit ups before I go to bed. They should help me sleep more. Being healthy truthfully is a great feeling and I'll always appreciate my health.

Find Art in Your Life

2007-11-30T23:16:00.000-08:00

by FreeVerse (L.T.L)

Why does the World turn? The Moon Shine? The Sun give light?

You know why.

Life is like a vessel we put our own meanings into.

Experiencing life our own way.

Looking at the way the birds fly, the fish swim and the trees grow.

Looking at day you awake to, the night you rest with, the path you walk.

You interpret it for more than what it is

You give it meaning, you give it Art.

Independence

2007-11-26T23:19:00.000-08:00

1. When you go out, don't go out to sarge, run game, pull, hunt, draw or whatever. Have a reason that's independent of that. Find a reason to go out for yourself FIRST or CREATE a reason.

"I'm going out because it's my day off."

"I want some fresh air."

"I want to see if they have my favorite Confunkshun album, because I love 80's Funk when music was good overall"

"because it's Monday."

2. When calling her. Watch your favorite TV show while calling her, or while you're walking to a certain place that you have to be at a certain time.

3. On a date, or when scheduling a date. Make it a habit of going out whether or not she accompanies you.

4. Think you first, then her. When you're out and you're having fun, you can transfer that to her.

5. Self Image and Self-Esteem - No bragging or trying to impress her. Whether you impress her or not, you'll still be the same person afterwards. Trying to impress others will not develop high self-esteem and self-image in the long run. Think, whether you pick her up or not, will that change the way you see yourself and how you think of yourself?

6. Being proud of yourself - Don't seek approval for who you are. You are who you are and you have every right to be. You created who you are.

7. Create a life that's independent of women, You're number one and so is your purpose in life.

THE VIBE IS NOT TO SHOW YOU'RE INDEPENDENT SO YOU CAN LOOK COOL. THAT'S NOT INDEPENDENT AT ALL. THE VIBE IS TO BE INDEPENDENT THAT YOU CAN TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF FIRST, AND THEN SECOND THOSE WHO YOU ARE WITH. YOU BECOME VERY GIVING.

WHAT'S YOUR THOUGHTS OF THOSE YOU ARE WITH WHEN YOU ARE INDEPENDENT? YOU THINK OF THEM AND HOW YOU CAN GIVE YOUR GIFTS TO THEM IF THEY SHOWED THEY DESERVE IT.

THESE AREN'T THINGS YOU THINK ABOUT, DO THEM AND INDEPENDENCE WILL BE DRILLED IN YOU.

Differences in a Mid Size SUV to a Full Size SUV

2007-11-26T10:01:00.000-08:00

I drove a lighter vehicle this morning a mid size SUV, I'm use to driving an SUV and Super Cabs. The mid size has smaller tires, light and the body is more aero dynamic which makes it way more mobile and less distance to brake to a full stop if needed. I wanted to do snakes on the freeway, however I didn't, because I wisend up from a ticket months ago. It was front wheel drive, not much torque but faster acceleration from a stop position.

What I like about SUV's, is mainly the power. You really hear that engine roar when you press the pedal. More weight, more ground to stop. I love it when it RWD, the torque is crazy. You also sit up high so you can keep an eye on traffic ahead.

The mid size doesn't have the full power as a full size, but it does have power and is more mobile. The Full size has more power and is a beast on the freeway.

I prefer the full size for the long term. The mid size is fun though.

In Recent News

2007-11-26T00:47:00.000-08:00

Reading a sweet Lay Report that took place on home land or home Island of my parents kind of put my roots into consciousness. I'm back to my roots. Man, I want to go to the Islands and visit some fam. You have to know where you came from, knowing your roots makes you feel connected with everyone, those like you and those different from you.

Yes! My team is looking like it did last year. The offense is beating, the defense is rushing the QB and our Running Back is breaking records again. I live in Southern California, if you watch NFL, you should have figured this out by now.

With the exception of this blog, I'm done talking about doing things. It's time to ACT. I guess we can look at life as an observation or we can look at it as an ACTION. Life is not something that you always"be" it's something that you "do" as well. Although observing is cool too, but it can't be one w/o the other. You have to do both.

As an inspiring writer, I thought of writing for me, but now it's transitioning to writing for others as well. Brings me back to the Book The Way Of The Superior Man by David Deida where he talks about first taking care of yourself, second taking care of your fam and third taking care of the community.

In this moment, there's nothing left to think about.

It's about moving forward.

Prepare and Pass that test and get passed that bridge.

To My Confident Readers

2007-11-24T14:23:00.000-08:00

Sup, hope you guys are enjoying you're Saturday, it's so clear over here, that's why I love where I live, clear skies, and warm weather. Hey dudes, remember to leave comments. Oh yeah, I'll put my email up soon.

Everything is fitting into place

2007-11-23T23:11:00.000-08:00

Seems like everything is coming into place. After all, when I was living unbalance, it's like I didn't knew where everything is. When you are living a balance place, everything fits into place. I thank that to balancing work and play and Exploring the World and setting a stable future.

I also feel that I am going where I want. The road feels genuine and I moving where I want to. This is because I am true to my desires, and everything I do is aligned with a purpose. The main purpose.

It goes like this.

- Being True to Yourself
- Live a balanced life.

Fire, Balance

2007-11-23T00:01:00.001-08:00

When I look in the mirror, I see fire, I see passion now. Life for me is beginning at 21. lol. I feel blood running through my veins, my muscles feel attentive and ready. They say don't live in the past, and don't live in the future, live now. Well, I do want to live now, but I feel content that I have a future, because of now.

I've found Balance in life now as well. You know how they talk about balance work and play and balancing exploring life and working for a stable future. Well, I found both. Work and Play. Exploration and a stable future.

Could Something so Simple be so Sweet?

2007-11-21T17:42:00.000-08:00

It's my day off. My second one to be exact and with ThanksGiving, that makes three tomorrow. Yeah! I still had to wake up early this morning, reason being, a speeding ticket and a fine(see blog below.) Well, i'm at the bank ready to take cash out cause it makes the process much more easier when I'll pay.

At the bank, I look around, people like me, working class. I'm looking at people's faces and I see the beginning of a day of work. I felt something primitive in me, and imagined all the people at 6 am in the morning backing out from their driveways to start another day of work. It's great to know people are getting up this early to do something.

Though the working class may not be filled with glamorous and fancy things I still see radiance in peoples gestures that early in the morning.

Speeding Ticket, Power, Discipline

2007-11-21T09:32:00.000-08:00

Can these things go together?

Of Course.

Well I woke up about an hour ago. Today is the day where I'll drive up to Kearny Mesa to make a payment for my speeding ticket. Can you relate speed to power? Yeah. For some of us more adventurous personalities, a car, an open freeway, is a great way to really hear the power of a car. I mean, that roar is so great and when you put the windows down(even though its bad for wind resistance) it so great to feel the wind in your face.

I think, easing of the pedal, is discipline. I mean the car can go real fast, but I guess we have rules and fines, lol.

Life and Jealousy

2007-11-20T22:49:00.000-08:00

I'm laying back and meditating and pondering on life and such.

I remembered how at rare times I would be jealous of other guys in this whole gigantic world of dating, sex, love and such.

I also thought about others and their jealousy.

I thought about jealousy in general.

Thought popping out of my head.

Then I thought that people who I feel jealousy of are enjoying their life.

I then separated life itself and my life. Life as a being, and my life as another.
Life as a being for everyone, and then the life as a being for myself. I though of it profoundly and dropped it. When I look at it now, life is actually one being, and we all see it and live it differently.

And when I look at others success, happiness, greatness, etc. in whatever, I see as something they bring to life. Life, is not only for me, other should bring as much as they can to life. We are celebrating life and how we live it.

Life is not only ours, it's for everybody, we have different ways of seeing it, living it, and what we GIVE to it.

How can I be mad, if someone is giving something to life, which is something we all share with each other.

Being True to True Desires

2007-11-20T22:36:00.000-08:00

Truthfully speaking... I felt compelled to write something, not for me directly, but for my desire to share with others so they may benefit. Well, most people know this already, and some probably wont care, and those who experienced through it know what I'm talking about and see why I would write something about it.

Well, it all comes down to... Being true to your real desires. Meaning going after what you feel compelled to go after. Walking the path that you truthfully want to walk, etc.

When I hear it, write it, speak it, "be true to your real desires" or "go after what you really want." It sounds so simple, I mean they're just words, that I've heard inside of myself for so long, and yet it's so complex when it comes to really doing it.

It went from wanting to have sex with the women in the media to wanting to have sex all the time because of "pick up"

Went from wanting to have sex with the women in car ads or dancing in Hip Hop videos to wanting to have sex with multiple women because, hey it's the thing to do, since we are all in "pick up." I'm speaking out of observation. Eventually underground becomes the new mainstream with all the Pick Up shows. Well, thinking about it, dating has always been mainstream, but ever since Speed Seduction with Ross Jeffries, it has evolved and is still evolving.

Not to say, that's what pick up is all about, having sex with multiple girls. I wanted to learn about all these attraction methods because I was smitten by a woman and I didn't know what to do. Then, I went another way. Walking around looking at women that I didn't even desire and trying "game" on them but there was no spark with some of those women. That's what is great about talking to a lot of women and "gaming" them, is that you figure out what you don't want and what you do want. That's a good thing. Eventually you wont want all the women you ego USED to want before. There is abundance, so much that some of it we don't want.

This post is turning into something else but time to get back on track. I was de-synthesized and turning into this product or this machine that would go out, at every single chance that I can and work on my game. Going out a lot did help me with my vibe and going after what I truthfully want. As far as pick up lines and techniques, I don't even do those things anymore... because when you go for something you want, you come with an energy that will speak to women inside of them. So it took me a long time to snap myself out of that de-synthesize state and be Me again. Funny, we all hear of these situations that people have were they try to find who they are. Some look to material things like cars, mansions. Other's superficial things like Fame, Looks, Quantity of suitors. Though we might never fully understand who we are, I feel that the path to self-enlightenment or knowing who you are, lies in your true desires.

Thank you all for reading, yes this was written for me and my desire to want to share with you.

My Story... so far.

2007-11-20T22:25:00.000-08:00

You know when you see something(a place, a person, a thing, well a noun I guess) and it's like you can feel your eyes widening, as if you want to take a deeper look into it. After all, there are more thing to be "seen" then what the eyes can see. At times we can't "look" at things with our eyes, we have to use other senses. I feel when you look much deeper into things it makes life more DYNAMIC.